If God Would Only Help

My apologies to Pastor Jordan for the following post. His sermon on Sunday settled in my soul; quite frankly, I can't stop thinking about it.

Our congregation is studying Judges (that most docile of Bible books, ahem). Sunday's sermon focused on Judges 6, which is the beginnings of Gideon's story.

The gist goes like this:

• Israel does evil, forgets/rejects God through idolatry.
• God allows the Midianites to defeat Israelites and inhabit the land
• Jews cry to God for help.

And what do you think God does?

He sends a prophet (preacher) to remind them of who He is, what He has done for them. 

That's all. No lightning from the sky. No burning fire to consume the enemy. No fix. Just some words. (And to read those words, check out Judges 6:7-10.)

And in chorus with many--dare I say, all--of humanity, we utter the words: If God would only help.

What the pastor said next resonated well.

We often want relief from whatever plagues us; but God often wants to rehearse His salvation. God is not in context of our problem. Quite the opposite. Our problem is in context of God. What good is it if God remedies the situation but leaves your heart where it is? God is all about redeeming your soul.

We want to escape our problems, but God may want us to interpret them. We want out, but God may want us to stay where we are so that we can understand the depth of our depravity, our idolatry against Him. We need Jesus more than we need immediate relief. We need sanctification more than we need relief. 

God says "I am with you." Is that enough? Your answer to that reveals a lot about your heart, your faith in God and the work of Christ.

So how are you viewing God in your circumstance? What don't you believe about Him that's causing you to despair? To fear? To doubt? To be anxious? Angry? Annoyed?

If only God would help? Friend, He already has.

The Book Birthday: Read It and Weep (Get It?)

Nearly a month ago now, we celebrated Anna turning 2 years old! Since she adores reading, the party had a book/library theme. And while I felt the theme actually focused more on chaos (ha), the hubs assures me it wasn't. Anna had a fun time, which was the goal. So I say--success.

I found these fantastic library card invites from Erin Inala through her Etsy shop. She customized them for the birthday party. You should so check out her site. 

Here's the Youree Three posing for the party pic! (Notice the balloon wreath from last year's party made a reappearance. 'Cause when I craft it lasts y'all . . . or perhaps more truthful, I hate crafting so much I do it as few times as possible and just reuse and reuse.)

Three of the Youree cousins!

The grandparents got Anna a trike. While her legs still aren't quite long enough, she LOVES pushing it down a teeny tiny hill we have in the backyard. When she gets the hang of it for real, neighbors beware. Speed demon comin' through!

The party animals.

Story time. I mean it was a book party after all. 

Her wishes are definitely coming true this year! It was a perfect 10!

Skyping with Aunt Tina and fam during the gift opening. (Sorry the computer was pelted with tissue paper so many times!)

 

Favor bags. I may or may not have eaten the majority of the leftover gummy worms. May or may not.

Anna-isms #1

(I have a feeling this will be an ongoing blog post.)

The radio comes on as we start the car. A commercial announcer says, Do you have a herniated disc?
Anna says, NooOo, with an inflection I cannot quite capture through typing.
The announcer continues, Do you need surgery or need regular shots?
Anna replies again, No.
She looks at me with her eyebrows raised and an expression that says, Nope, I don't need any of that.

In other news, the neighbor's cat, who is a recluse of an old man, suddenly is around all the time because he wants Anna to pet him. Did you read that? The cat miraculously wants to be touched by my daughter. I am, of course, a nervous wreck about the whole thing because the cat has ran from me on numerous occasions. Tonight I come home to find Bryan and Anna in the garden with Anna sticking her hand through the fence patting the cat. Unbelievable. The cat loves her.

When Anna finishes a book, she most always says, Amen. Very religious this one.

Stay tuned. More to come, no doubt.

Lori's Visit

One of my very best friends came for a fun visit to start off the month. So refreshing. So what I needed. It's great to hang out with an "old" friend who's been there with ya through the yuck and the ups and downs of your twenties. And it doesn't hurt that she possesses a degree in interior design. :-) A few boxes were unpacked, several pictures hung, furniture rearranged, and some marriage mediation. Let's just say the furniture arranging brought out the best in me. Ahem.

Lori captured some great photos during the weekend. Enjoy.

We are so happy Lori is here!

The fake smile. Notice its appearance in multiple pics.

Swinging with Mama.

Her first birthday gift of the month. She loved the book and fun Melissa & Doug toy from Aunt Lori. 

Cutest toes I've ever seen...

At the midway at the Stock Show. Holy moly. Those rides are incredibly fast. Note to self: Don't take Anna back until she's 13.

The fake smile in all its glory.

The guhrls.

I call this the tv stare.

Mastering the park this little one. She no longer wants anyone to catch her at the bottom of the slide. Sniff. Sniff.

What's for Lunch? Learning to Feed My Toddler

Today, Anna ate a leftover slice of cheese pizza and lima beans. Not your usual combo? Well, she loved it.

A few weeks back a fellow toddler mom and I were discussing what to feed these little ones. Face it, we run out of ideas weekly and enter the food ruts constantly. Add in toddler "assertiveness" and table time is turning tricky.

My sweet girl, who once downed cooked carrots and brown sugar butternut squash and steamed green beans, now will not touch the stuff. Essentially her veggie intake now consists of anything sweet potato and most beans (except green beans). She loves limas, pintos, peas, black beans, kidney beans, and so forth. I do not have any great ideas about luring her to love broccoli and brussel sprouts and carrots and even mashed potatoes. My take is that I keep making it with our meals and I keep putting it on her plate and maybe one day, she will eat it. Maybe.

So for you other mothers, here is what Anna is eating this week. Oh, and no judging.

Tuesday: banana and milk for breakfast / leftover cheese pizza and lima beans for lunch / pasta and chicken in parmesan and spinach sauce with corn and cauliflower in the sauce, which she picked out
Wednesday: yogurt and blueberries for breakfast / avocado, cheese, and pretzels for lunch / crock pot chicken and green beans (we made a "deal" for her to eat 10 beans)
Thursday: banana for breakfast / leftover chicken and green beans (which I am happy to report she ate with less fuss) for lunch / half an avocado and sweet potato tater tots for dinner
Friday: yogurt and blueberries / avocado, pretzels, applesauce, and gingersnaps (packed lunch for school) / fish and chips for dinner
Saturday: bacon, eggs, and whole wheat toast for breakfast / leftover limas and sweet potato tots / cheese pizza and berries (strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries mix)

As you might guess, blueberries and avocados were on sale at the grocery store. :-) Also, Anna has a snack between lunch and dinner since we don't eat dinner until 6 or 6:30. So it's usually a piece of fruit (apple or berries or orange) or a grain, like Annie's Bunnies or pretzels. So far, Anna doesn't like sweets, except for gingersnaps. Thus, I'm not fighting the sweet treat battle as of yet.

I'd be DELIGHTED to learn what your little one eats. New ideas are always welcome. And if you have ideas about incorporating veggies into Anna's diet, I'm ALL EARS. Or eyes because you'll likely type it, not say it. :-)

Anna and the Restaurant

While driving home from Bible study this afternoon, Anna told me she wanted to eat. I replied, "Okay, honey, we're on our way home. Mom will make you some lunch."

"No. Lunch at restaurant," Anna said in her whiniest voice.

At first, I couldn't understand her completely, probably because "restaurant" was the last possible thing I thought she would say. As much as I tried to convince her of the fabulous lunch awaiting her at home, she persisted with "restaurant."

I called Bryan on the way home because I was half horrified and half cracking up at this restaurant declaration. What in the world? Of course, she heard me talking to Bryan about this and became even more adamant that she wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch.

And then we pulled into the driveway at home. What's that saying? All ^@#* breaking loose? Mhmm.

The more I tried to undo her car seat straps, the more she buckled them back--full out fit. She was crying incredibly hard, screaming "no" and "restaurant." I was making the situation worse because I was nearly doubled over in hysterics . . . laughing so hard. Clearly, she did not find the situation funny.

I get her out of the car . . . dragging her up the porch stairs to the door. As I unlock the front door, she makes a bee line for the car. Dragged again. Inside, I call Bryan so he can hear this. She was brokenhearted and mad, crying big tears. I told her to tell Dad what was a matter. All she would say is "Mama" while she clutched the phone.

Here's how I resolved the situation:

The mailman divinely showed up to drop off the mail. So we went outside to get the mail and the newspaper. She recovered. We played outside for nearly 30 minutes until I dared to bring up lunch again. Strategically, I also mentioned she could watch the "Beats" (Fresh Beat Band, her first true love) while she ate lunch. And maybe, just maybe, I provided her with some of her favorites: avocado, cheese, and pretzels. Whew.

Let's just hope she takes it okay when she finds out we're having crock pot chicken at home for dinner.

Grief Is a Beast

This morning one of my absolute best friends called with horrible news. Her mother-in-law died this morning. All of a sudden. All unexpected. All too familiar.

Immediately, I thought of "that" phone call from October: "Emily, the house caught on fire in Van Buren. Mom died." With the next thought, my stomach dropped; I wish the sadness and weirdness of the next days, weeks, months were not a burden for my friend to bear. Friends, grief is not fun.

The only way I've been able to encapsulate the journey of grief is this: Grief is a beast you cannot tame. No matter how you try to avoid it, force it, manipulate it, or beat it, grief will not yield. It will take its course in its intended way. There's no getting out of it.

When my father died in 2009 (from brain cancer), grief caught me by surprise. Never had I been so mentally consumed with something. I thought about my dad all.the.time. If you drank a glass of water, I recalled every memory I had of my father that involved drinking water. If I saw a ball game, a shirt, anything, I somehow thought of some relation to my dad. Exhausting doesn't even begin to explain it. Yet, with my mother, the grieving has been completely different. I'm grumpy on the inside. I feel a bit . . . lost. Wandering through grief, really.

One similarity, though, does exist between mourning my father and my mother: Month three is the worst. Perhaps the shock of it wanes by the third month. Perhaps the realities are settling by then. Perhaps I don't know. And that makes me angry because I want to have "one up" on grief. I want to cheat it somehow, avoid some of it. But alas, that is not possible.

And believe it or not, I'm thankful for that.

While so, so weird and so full of numerous emotion, grief is good. It brings to light the realities of mortality, forcing my mind to consider the eternal, the bigger picture. Grief highlights my hurts and areas where the cobwebs need cleaned. Grief reminds me we were not intended to die and that sin's price is steep--death. Grief reveals my weakness and need for redemption. And as with all--whether the grandeurs of grace or the repercussions of depravity--God uses grief for my good and His glory.

So, I pray tonight for my friend who's just commenced his grieving days--and for you who've been there too--that we grieve well, full and deep, confessing the wounds of our hearts and the wonders of a Savior.