Friday, February 21, 2014

Was Blind, But Now I See

Sure I may have inflammation in my right eye (explains the halo effect).

Sure I'm going back to the doc in two weeks.

Sure I'm having surgery again in May.

BUT I DO NOT CARE TONIGHT, FRIENDS! Why? Because I am wearing glasses with a "pretty close" prescription.

I can see! I can drive! I can read! I can get back to functioning like a normal person!

Originally, the doc told me he wouldn't give me a script for glasses until the one-month mark, which was March 6. This afternoon I visited the doc again. My right eye has worsened likely due to inflammation; so I'm back on steroid drops for two weeks. He also thinks this inflammation is why I can only see 20/30 when refracted. But after some begging and desperation on my part, he relented and gave me a prescription for glasses. I may or may not have sang a bar of the "Hallelujah Chorus" right there in the chair.

In two weeks, I will return to see Dr. Warren for a check-up and to discuss more seriously a time table for surgery in May.

But I am so relieved to to be able to see clearer. Whew.


Monday, February 17, 2014

17 Really Is Our Lucky Number

When the hubs and I were dating, he sent me flowers for a random anniversary. The card said something like, "Happy 17 months because 17 is our lucky number." So random, right? And cute and funny and endearing.

But on February 17, 2011 at 10:45 a.m. somewhere on the side of the road in the middle of a snow storm, our daughter was born. Yet, that wasn't the day I met her. She entered my arms 17 days later.

Today as we celebrated the dawning of her third glorious year, I couldn't help but grieve those 17 days Anna Zane wasn't home. I am sad I didn't hear her first cry or change that first diaper or kiss her sweet face. 

While she too may one day grieve that loss and wonder and wish, I've come to this conclusion, and it's one I pray she will share.

If I missed 17 days to gain 17,000, I'd make that deal every time. 

170 sleepless nights.

1700 diapers.

17,000 giggles. 

17 millions kisses.

All worth it and all worth so much.

Happy Birthday to a girl who dreams of being big, who jumps and skips and "flips," who believes friendship means something, who hides and seeks until she drops, who likes to win, who cares and nurtures.

Don't ever forget how loved you are!




Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Not the LASIK I Dreamed Of . . . Yet


I thought my LASIK update would be really funny and witty as I relayed to you how I completely panicked in the chair, and how Valium is not my friend. And how I was psycho until about 5:30 that night. And then how wonderfully I could see and have been so busy frolicking in fields of clear, crisp clover that I had no time to blog.

A girl can dream.

My recovery from LASIK surgery on Thursday has not gone well. After updating my doctor about my lack of progress, he requested to see me today.

Because my eyesight was so poor to begin with, it is difficult sometimes to get clear vision the first time with LASIK. While, we cannot make that determination for sure until the one month point (March 6), the doctor believes I will need surgery again. Currently I have 20/25 in one eye, and 20/60 in the other. This could fluctuate for a month. 

The hard part is that he cannot give me corrective lenses until the one month mark because there's the chance my vision could change between now and then. 

I am praying my vision clears enough soon so that I could safely drive, and even better to be able to read. If not clear by Friday, I will need to resign from a few freelance jobs due to the inability to proofread. My work load is large right now. Not being able to drive or read for one month will be a burden on our family. I so pray the Lord is merciful in this.

I will see my doctor again next week, and then again the week of March 6th. At the March appointment, he will make the determination about corrective glasses and a scheduled surgery date for May.

I'm gonna be in this chair again. Sigh.


Can you see the panic in my eye? :-)
What? This doesn't look comfortable?


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Surgery on the Horizon

When I was in third grade, I had to sit in the front row to see the chalkboard. Time for a visit to the eye doctor.

Sporting my new pink plastic-rimmed glasses, I was amazed that you could see individual leaves on trees. I'd thought, for as long as I could remember, that trees were more like green blobs.

Here's to hoping another ocular miracle happens on Thursday.

Today is my last day to wear contacts. Tomorrow starts several days of glasses only until Thursday when the doc does his magic. It's almost an identity crises to think I will soon shed contacts and glasses. They've been part of my daily routine for decades.

I pray the Valium kicks in quick so I'm not all jitters during the surgery. (I'll be awake!)
I pray my eyes heal well.
I pray Anna doesn't freak out too much--thanks to the very stylish plastic goggles I'll be wearing for a few days and thanks to not being able to pick her up/bathe her for an entire week.
I pray the surgery is a success with nothing further needed, especially that follow-up surgery possibility.

Yep, surgery is on the horizon. And here's to hoping it's not blurry.