Friday Funnies

Today I encountered two humorous situations too good not to share.

The first chuckle I had was at the post office where I was waiting in line to purchase Christmas stamps. As my turn neared, I scanned the festive design options. The red and gold Christmas tree really caught my fancy.

"Next."

I approached the counter and said, "I'd like 100 of your Christmas tree stamps."

The lady behind the counter smirked, pulled out a stack of stamps, and showed me a closer peek. These are not Christmas trees, but stamps for the Islam holiday. The gold swirls were actually Islamic writings artistically woven together. However, it was in the shape of a triangle, very similar to a tree.

Well, I better not get those for CHRISTMAS cards, eh.

"In that case, I'll take those darling ornament stamps."

"Don't worry," she said. "You're not the first to ask."

In some ways, I wish I had accidentally purchased those beautiful red and gold stamps because it would have been hilarious . . . . Addressing all my Christian-themed cards and donning them with Muslim garb. You can't make up this stuff.

**Two hours later**

I'm getting gas at Sam's. At $2.94 per gallon, I was not the only one with this idea. Seven or eight other cars were stopped for fuel. Next to me a lady was being approached by a gentleman, who said something along the lines of:

"I'm an electrical engineer, but I've lost my job. Blah, blah, family, kids. I need cash. Can you take me to your ATM?"

Actually, I didn't catch everything he said because, poor fella, his speech was a bit slurred. Okay, it was really slurred.

The lady refused; and the gentleman continued to his right to the next car, away from my direction. Apparently, this man refused as well. So, the money-seeking, tipsy gentleman turned to his left to approach the remaining "gasers." He starts in my direction. And just before he passes my car he says:

"I'm not even going to ask you. You look like a bitch."

Ah, the holidays. I just love this time of year.