Mom Went to the Surgeon

Mom had a great appointment today with her surgeon. He took out four stitches, and said the wound is healing nicely. So far, so good! She goes again in a couple of weeks.

In other news, Bryan and I are feeling the work load. It's super busy for both of us right now. We need relief!

Fred Stoeker

Just a little pumped to interview, Mr. Fred Stoeker, who's created an empire in Christian publishing thanks to his Every Man series. You can read the interview here:

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-19787-Fort-Worth-Evangelical-Examiner~y2009m9d15-Interview-with-Fred-Stoeker

A Memorial

We have a date. On Sunday, October 11, we will have a memorial service for my father at Johnson's Chapel Free Will Baptist Church in Washburn, Tennessee. At the present, we are thinking a 2 p.m. service. We chose the October date for several reasons: All of my siblings could be present; will give my mother's foot enough time to heal, or at least be further along in the recovery process; allow ample time for preparations, both of the service and family members' work schedules, etc.

In Lieu of Flowers

As posted earlier, my father, Bob White, passed away on September 5th. In lieu of flowers, my family is requesting donations be made to the Bobby White Memorial Fund, now set up through Arvest Bank. This account will help with funeral expenses, medical bills, and living expenses now solely held by my mother.

To make contributions to the Bobby White Memorial Fund, please contact:

Arvest Bank

3421 S. 74th Street

Fort Smith, Arkansas 72903

479-709-6483 (Lisa's direct line)

It is important to note this fund will only be active for one year, through September 2010.

Bryan's Granny

Just a brief update on Granny Youree. She was released from the hospital last week after her hip surgery. Although her surgery went fine, she's having a rough recovery time. She's in increasing pain and battling other complications. Please keep her in your prayers!

More Information

Today, I'm writing from the comfy confines of my very own office. It's so nice to be home. The weekend is a bit of a blur, but here is some more information . . .

Sunday evening we had a private viewing in Fort Smith. The immediate family, along with aunts and grandmother, participated. In a few weeks, once we get an okay from mom's doctor for her to travel, we will have a memorial service in east Tennessee, where my dad was born and grew up. In the next handful of days, my siblings and I will begin preparing for that, etc. I'll post more info as we make decisions and what not. Also, we are in the works of setting up the Bobby White Memorial Fund. I should have that finalized today or tomorrow. Will post info on that too.

Mom has a doc's appt today. So far, her foot is healing well. Of course, this isn't going to be brand new over night, but it's on a good track. Her blood sugar and blood pressure has improved too.

And that's all for now! I suppose I should have titled this post, More Information to Come!

Dad

Just a little after 6 p.m. today, September 5th, dad passed away. Although in a coma state and breathing shallowly, he passed peacefully and without struggle.

He deteriorated quickly since his cancer diagnosis in late July. Since his hospitalization earlier in August, he has been calm and peaceful about dying, saying he was ready to go, made peace with God, and felt prepared mentally. Yesterday afternoon Tina and I were blessed to spend about an hour with him alone; he was more alert then than he had been in days. He laughed and joked with us, listening to me and Tina tell stories, even throwing in a joke or two of his own. Tina left the room to check on mom, and then dad and I talked a bit more. I got up from my chair looked at him as I circled the front of the bed. He turned his head to the left, and like a light switch, he became non-responsive. Throughout the evening and into today, he fell deeper and deeper into a coma with shallower and shallower breathing.

We plan only to have a private family viewing and memorial, and then bury his ashes in a few weeks. All the details are not arranged now. However, Tina and I wish any friends of family wanting to pay respects make a donation to the Bobby White Memorial Fund (to be set up shortly). More info to come on that.

Going to Arkansas

Due to Dad's rapid decline, I am flying to Arkansas tonight. Bryan will arrive tomorrow night or early Saturday, by car. Of course, death can never be pinpointed, but we feel based on dad's "symptoms" that the hour is close. I may not be able to post regularly, but keep us in your prayers. I'm just hoping, begging God to have mercy on dad and allow his death to be peaceful and to ease the suffering he's experiencing.

Two Weeks

Where to begin?

Mom made it through surgery just fine. Her blood pressure was a bit up, but what else do you expect when you get a toe whacked off! :-) Her dr said she will be in the hospital through Monday, maybe longer. They will re-evaluate then. She has quite a bit of infection still; so that's got to be monitored closely, thanks to her diabetic status. Her nurses are really great. They are keeping a close watch on her.

The meaning of the "two weeks" title is this--Dad's dr talked with Tina yesterday, a sort of "rubber meets the road" kinda talk. Tina knew it was serious when she asked her to sit down. Essentially, dad's cancer is taking over at break-neck speed. He's in states of delirium, stalled breathing, nausea, and non-responsiveness at various times throughout each day. The doctor said it would be a miracle if he was alive in two weeks.

We broke the news to mom this morning. Of course, she is upset. She's calling it "heartbroken." We are asking, due to this sensitive time for mom and such a frail time for dad, that visitors be only family. Tina is leaving Arkansas today, having been there since Sunday. I am contemplating what to do. Tony is there now, but will leave at lunch. Anyway, we are taking one moment at a time, forget one day at a time; that's too much to bear.

Remembering God's presence and promises . . . .

Surgery Today and Who Knows What Else!

Mom is still scheduled for surgery today at 4:30; however, we think and hope the surgeon will get her in before then. He wants to, anyway. She's just waiting for the call!

Dad is . . . well, he just is. He is having sporadic hallucinations and severe confusion. That started yesterday. He doesn't talk too much; too much conversation around him frustrates him and confuses him. So, we keep it calm and quiet.

In lighter news, our one eggplant plant has 12 eggplants on it. By far, it is the largest eggplant plant I have ever seen--nearly as tall as me and certainly wider than I! Come by to see . . . maybe we should sell tickets . . .

Grief

I cannot speak for my siblings, or for my parents, but the grief tide is already rolling through my heart and mind. In the midst of medical updates and extinguished "fires," the often elusive and ignored emotional toil is present. This is what I'm thinking through, working through today.

Grief needs its own word. Sadness, sorrow, and heartache just don't cut it. I suppose "grief" is sufficient enough of a word, but no one knows what it means until you experience it. And we all do at some point. I believe I'm just at the threshold. But I might argue too . . . that for each person you lose, that grief experience is different. I have already buried two grandparents and a nephew, not to mention friends and acquaintances. But this is different for me.

It's hard to watch someone die, over days and weeks. Knowing what's coming, but not knowing when. Wanting it to be over, but wishing it would never come. Conflicted and confusing.

I'm already grieving over what is to come, what is happening now, what never happened, and what never will. You know me, I like to get a head start on things.

Dad Is Having a Better Morning

The night ended yesterday with dad being a bit more responsive, but having breathing "episodes," where he would take long pauses between several breaths. He was really dehydrated; thus, he received an IV, albeit it took five or six tries to insert the needle.

Dad is doing better today. He's had some orange juice and coffee so far. Yesterday, no one could even get a sip of water down him. He can talk now, even understanding what you are saying throughout a conversation--a short conversation, but a conversation nonetheless!

His doctor did reveal the results of the blood work; he has no infection of any sort. So, the deterioration is strictly due to his brain tumor. They are giving him sugar in his saline IV because his sugar count is in the 50s.

We are asking for visitors to check in at the nurse's station before seeing dad. He cannot handle a lot of visitors and activity, so we'd like to limit that. Also, keep the calls sparse and short. But please, keep him in your prayers as he walks through this difficult stage.

Mom is doing okay, except for her diabetes and foot problem. The doctor should tell us her surgery time/day today, we think (and hope!). Her MRI did show infection in two of her three bones in that toe, but the doc recommends amputating the entire toe. He did warn her that she's not out of the water because she still has significant infection throughout her foot. And on an emotional level, mom is dealing with some hard stuff too--what we are all anticipating and preparing for, but no one wants to name aloud.

Just keep thinking about us!