Thursday, July 31, 2014

Parenting Means Answering the Hard Questions

My blog posting took a vacation for a few weeks this summer to celebrate family visits, vacations, my father-in-law's retirement (after 41 years, y'all), and an unseasonably cool summer here in Texas (only THREE days in the 100s for July. Ah-mazing).

During these days, little Anna Zane's question quota has risen . . . immensely, sometimes "to infinity and beyond." I field a lot of "why," "what's that," and "do you see me/can you find me." But she's also stopped me in my tracks a time or two. Sometimes I immediately knew the answer. Sometimes I didn't.

For example, as we were about to visit the store, she asked, "Will you ever leave me behind?" The quick response was "no, not a chance, never, no way." But my heart fretted wondering why she asked that. Of course, this very interesting and insightful article recently published in the Huffington Post only added fuel to my adoption-related worries.

Anna also discovered a bit about death thanks to a large cemetery in Galveston. She was first mortified to learn--or so she thought--that people turned into stones when they died (a la the tombstones filling the  cemetery). And then was truly upset when she realized people die. People like her mama and daddy. People like her. I had to tell her not to worry and she wouldn't die for a long, long time just to get her to move on. I cannot have my 3-year-old pondering her death every day.

And then Tuesday she asked if God was in her heart. She informed me she wanted God to live in her heart. That was followed by:
Is He there?
Do you see Him?
Does He talk? Will my heart talk?
Where is God?
Where is my heart?

If anyone would like to give me suggestions on how to answer those, I'm happy to receive them! I just kept saying, "yes."

On Friday, Anna saw a photo on a desk at this office we were visiting. It was of a grandfather, grandmother, and their grandchildren. All where white except this one little black girl around 2-years-old. Anna pointed to the young girl and asked if that was her. To us, that is a really big recognition because she now sees the differences between us and recognizes herself to be unique in the family. We are prayerfully always considering how to guide her through understanding adoption and the joy she brings to our family.

Whew, this parenting gig is no joke.

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