Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Cancer Is Eating My Friend {Pray for Bethany}

Apologies for the harsh title. It's just how I feel. It's all the cliches; it's all the usual descriptors; it's all the ick that exists.

It's a nightmare that won't end. A train wreck in slow motion. A Mack truck making its rounds. A breath I'm trying to catch. I'm in the deep end. I'm treading water . . . and not very well.

Only last week my friend, Bethany Lytle, learned of her breast cancer diagnosis. In the handful of days that followed, I've read these words in emails and Facebook updates and heard messages over the phone:

The cancer is confirmed.
Then it's invasive and aggressive.
Surgery postponed for months, maybe a year until chemo has a chance to work
Depressed and in a dark place.
Next, feeling very poorly
The doctor wants you to come back in
Calcium is dangerously high.
Having a PET.
Chemo next Monday
No, chemo on this Friday
Wait. Chemo tomorrow.
Not having a PET
The cancer is aggressive
Praying for a miracle.

Cancer is eating my friend. And I feel sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick in my heart. My friend is sick with cancer.

And she's just not any friend. She is a dearest, a best, a "just-like-a-sister." We shared millions of laughs, tears, and bags of Doritos in the 14 years I've known her. We've watched each other marry. We've moved miles away. We've welcomed babies. We planned to be cranky old Southern women together. I still want that.

I struggle to understand the role and purpose of prayer in relation to God's sovereignty. Yet, that complexity doesn't keep me from believing prayer is purposeful and necessary. If God has placed such emphasis on it and it's role in my life, I will pursue it . . . while clinging to Romans 8. Please, groan on my behalf, on my friend's behalf. I am praying without ceasing, and I mean that quite literally. I am praying because of who Jesus is and what He has accomplished for Bethany and myself; after all, that is the meaning of "in Jesus' name." I am praying as one who grieves but never does so without hope. I am praying boldly. I am praying with supplications and thanksgiving. I am praying.

And I beg you to do the same.

As "coincidence" would have it, this weekend is a first-ever girls' trip for my college buddies and me. Bethany was to be part of that trip, but, obviously she cannot attend. And as "coincidence" goes, the getaway destination turned out to be a short distance from where she is hospitalized. So the four friends are driving to visit with Bethany and her family during our trip. It's not what we planned those many months ago when we daydreamed about this trip, but I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to visit my friend and share the experience with the girls who helped me become a woman.

I will look to the hills. From where comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

11 comments:

Becky said...

I am praying and groaning with you, Emily. What a precious gift that you all get to go and see her. Praying for your trip as well.

Nonnarie said...

Emily, your words are like sweetest honey. I was just thinking the same thing, but not nearly so eloquently, about the role of prayer as it relates to God's will & sovereignty. So the very best and only thing we can do is leave her in His hands, but prayerfully. And thankfully that she IS His child. I'm also very glad to know you all will have some time together. Don't you just love God's timing in all things? Love you, girl.

Unknown said...

"I struggle to understand the role and purpose of prayer in relation to God's sovereignty. Yet, that complexity doesn't keep me from believing prayer is purposeful and necessary. If God has placed such emphasis on it and it's role in my life, I will pursue it . . . "

This is absolutely perfect, Emily. From a distance I have been struggling with the circumstances of Bethany's life (missionary, young mom, etc.) and the current circumstances of her cancer. All the normal types of struggles that a believer wrestles with. I absolutely hate this. But I will continue praying. Fervently and honestly.

Unknown said...

"I struggle to understand the role and purpose of prayer in relation to God's sovereignty. Yet, that complexity doesn't keep me from believing prayer is purposeful and necessary. If God has placed such emphasis on it and it's role in my life, I will pursue it . . . "

This is perfect, Emily. From a distance I have been praying over Bethany, and I have had my own little crisis of faith in the process. But I will continue, regardless, to pray honestly and fervently. I do believe in the power of prayer, even when my belief seems insufficient.

Praying for your trip this weekend. I'm glad you will all have each other to lean on.

Crystal Hodges said...

Thanks for your post. I'm praying here in California!

Anonymous said...

I am praying with you too. God bless.

Cindy McCain said...

Bethany was my student teacher and later my daughter's English teacher. We are both praying for her. She is a remarkable woman who has shared love with many. Thank you for your honest and moving post.

Holly Davis said...

I am 31 yrs ok. Had breast cancer while I was pregnant with my third child when I was 26. Mine was very aggressive as well. Mine was hormone receptor positive and HER2 positive (which is very aggressive) I had a mastectomy and 4 rounds of chemo while pregnant and then had 12 rounds after they delivered my baby girl at 32 weeks. I am telling you all this because everything WILL be just fine. It's just a speed bump in the road of life. Your friend will make it! Attitude is key! My help came from the Lord. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 2:7 that God did NOT give us the spirit of fear but the spirit of power, love and sound mind. Feel free to add me on Facebook. My name is Holly Davis. I would love to talk to your friend and encourage her.

Unknown said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Emily. Mr. Lytle is/was my history teacher this year and I have been sooo blessed by their family. It is heartbreaking for me, I cannot imagine though what all you are going through today. I am praying for comfort and healing in this difficult time! God knows the plans that He has set forth and even though we don't understand why He has taken Mrs. Lytle from us, we know that she with Him and that he is watching over her!
I am praying for you too in this dark time. I am praying so hard!

Kristina Anson said...

We Prayers for your loss. My heart is with her beautiful family. May God carry you all through this wrenching time. The family of Christ is big one, and although we do not know each other, some brothers and sisters in Christ in Kansas City, Missouri are lifting you and the Lytle family up in our prayers.

Kristina Anson said...

Prayers for your loss. My heart is with her beautiful family. May God carry you all through this wrenching time. The family of Christ is big one, and although we do not know each other, some brothers and sisters in Christ in Kansas City, Missouri are lifting you and the Lytle family up in our prayers.