New Round of Updates: Adoption, Allergies, and Eye Surgery

It's been a whirlwind month. What's the date? I have no idea!

After five months of zero news, we experienced a little blimp on the adoption radar. When you see Hope Cottage show up on your caller ID at 6:00 p.m., it can only mean one thing. :-) We were presented a birth mother/baby situation and weighed the options. In efforts to keep the matter private, we'll just say that we chose not to show our profile book.

It's always difficult when these scenarios present themselves, but we feel confident about our decision. It did provide some hope that this second adoption will be a reality. All in God's timing, right?

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We experienced a scary evening a couple weeks back when Anna accidentally ingested a cracker containing sesame. Immediately, Bryan gave her a dose of Benadryl. She had zero reaction, which led to relieved parents and some questions.

On Friday, the doctor tested for her sesame allergy again, and like a champ, she "scored" out of the ballpark. She definitely has a severe sesame allergy still. So, there are three possible reasons why she did not react when she ate the cracker:

1. The bites she ate did not actually contain any sesame.
2. When the sesame is baked, it loses the antigen that causes her reaction.
3. The daily Zyrtec she takes was enough antihistamine to thwart an escalating reaction.

Because sesame is such a rare allergy here in the States, research info is lacking. The doctor doesn't have much to offer in terms of what to expect from the allergy as she grows or what form is most potent, etc. So we just go with what we know and strive to keep her safe and sound.

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I'm a frequent flyer at the eye doctor these days. :-) But let's toss some confetti because my eyes have improved quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, I'm still not at 20/20, but my vision, even without my glasses, is much crisper. Hallelujah! 

Next month, the doc will measure my eyes up to three times to determine if my vision has stabilized. If so, then surgery--a more successful surgery--is in my May future.

My Anna & My Deanna

A few nights ago, Anna asked, "Where's your mama?"

I replied, "In heaven."

"What's hers name?" (Not a typo. Totally how she speaks.)

"Her name is Deanna. That's why I named you Anna. She's Deanna. And you're Anna."

And that was that.

But my mind has not stopped thinking about it. What she must think. The concept of me having a mother. Why don't I see or she see my mother. I think about the questions that will come in the future.

So I whipped up a few answers.

It's no secret that my relationship with my mother was rocky. There were more stressful conversations than pleasant ones throughout the last 15 years or so. But the best day I had with my mom happened in April 2011. The day I brought Anna to meet her.

We traveled with our new wee one in tow to Van Buren for a day trip for my Arkansas family to meet her. I was feeling nervous, protective, and anxious as I worried about what possibly could go wrong during the visit.

No doubt my face revealed my surprise when we entered my mom's house. I was shocked with the greeting.

Mom was dressed up in grey trousers and a purple shirt. Her hair was fixed nice. She looked put together, energetic, calm. She looked happy.

The house was extra clean and neat. I could see the effort she put into her appearance, her house, the whole thing because she was excited to meet my baby. I'm not sure how to express what that meant to me. It was the kindest, most loving act. It still brings me to tears.

The entire visit went without a hitch. And in future visits, my mom would even travel to see Anna; something she rarely did thanks to her failing health and unsteady emotions.

So I will be sure Anna knows that Grandma Deanna loved her . . . that Anna brought joy to heart that endured too much hurt . . . that Grandma Deanna celebrated her well. Grandma Deanna loved to listen to Anna babble on the phone, delighted in my stories of milestones, and chuckled at her mishaps. Anna was a bright spot in our relationship.

And I'll also tell Anna about the day we buried my mother.

After the graveside service, I stayed behind along with my brothers and uncle. Because she was cremated, the burial process is less involved. Before the last shovels of dirt did their job, I placed a yellow rose (my mom's favorite flower) in the grave per my niece's request. (She wanted to do it but couldn't because it was too painful.) Of course, I was weepy.

Seconds after I placed the rose, my 20-month-old daughter grabbed a yellow rose from a nearby arrangement and placed it in my mom's grave. Then I was really weepy. I know. I know. She was just mimicking my actions, but it was a really special moment for me. One I wish my mother knew.

While Anna Zane doesn't remember meeting Deanna, I hope to teach Anna about her life and about how God works redemption in the most magnificent, unbelievable ways. So this one's for the two leading ladies of my life--my Anna & and my Deanna.

Was Blind, But Now I See

Sure I may have inflammation in my right eye (explains the halo effect).

Sure I'm going back to the doc in two weeks.

Sure I'm having surgery again in May.

BUT I DO NOT CARE TONIGHT, FRIENDS! Why? Because I am wearing glasses with a "pretty close" prescription.

I can see! I can drive! I can read! I can get back to functioning like a normal person!

Originally, the doc told me he wouldn't give me a script for glasses until the one-month mark, which was March 6. This afternoon I visited the doc again. My right eye has worsened likely due to inflammation; so I'm back on steroid drops for two weeks. He also thinks this inflammation is why I can only see 20/30 when refracted. But after some begging and desperation on my part, he relented and gave me a prescription for glasses. I may or may not have sang a bar of the "Hallelujah Chorus" right there in the chair.

In two weeks, I will return to see Dr. Warren for a check-up and to discuss more seriously a time table for surgery in May.

But I am so relieved to to be able to see clearer. Whew.

17 Really Is Our Lucky Number

When the hubs and I were dating, he sent me flowers for a random anniversary. The card said something like, "Happy 17 months because 17 is our lucky number." So random, right? And cute and funny and endearing.

But on February 17, 2011 at 10:45 a.m. somewhere on the side of the road in the middle of a snow storm, our daughter was born. Yet, that wasn't the day I met her. She entered my arms 17 days later.

Today as we celebrated the dawning of her third glorious year, I couldn't help but grieve those 17 days Anna Zane wasn't home. I am sad I didn't hear her first cry or change that first diaper or kiss her sweet face. 

While she too may one day grieve that loss and wonder and wish, I've come to this conclusion, and it's one I pray she will share.

If I missed 17 days to gain 17,000, I'd make that deal every time. 

170 sleepless nights.

1700 diapers.

17,000 giggles. 

17 millions kisses.

All worth it and all worth so much.

Happy Birthday to a girl who dreams of being big, who jumps and skips and "flips," who believes friendship means something, who hides and seeks until she drops, who likes to win, who cares and nurtures.

Don't ever forget how loved you are!

Not the LASIK I Dreamed Of . . . Yet

I thought my LASIK update would be really funny and witty as I relayed to you how I completely panicked in the chair, and how Valium is not my friend. And how I was psycho until about 5:30 that night. And then how wonderfully I could see and have been so busy frolicking in fields of clear, crisp clover that I had no time to blog.

A girl can dream.

My recovery from LASIK surgery on Thursday has not gone well. After updating my doctor about my lack of progress, he requested to see me today.

Because my eyesight was so poor to begin with, it is difficult sometimes to get clear vision the first time with LASIK. While, we cannot make that determination for sure until the one month point (March 6), the doctor believes I will need surgery again. Currently I have 20/25 in one eye, and 20/60 in the other. This could fluctuate for a month. 

The hard part is that he cannot give me corrective lenses until the one month mark because there's the chance my vision could change between now and then. 

I am praying my vision clears enough soon so that I could safely drive, and even better to be able to read. If not clear by Friday, I will need to resign from a few freelance jobs due to the inability to proofread. My work load is large right now. Not being able to drive or read for one month will be a burden on our family. I so pray the Lord is merciful in this.

I will see my doctor again next week, and then again the week of March 6th. At the March appointment, he will make the determination about corrective glasses and a scheduled surgery date for May.

I'm gonna be in this chair again. Sigh.

Can you see the panic in my eye? :-)

What? This doesn't look comfortable?

Surgery on the Horizon

When I was in third grade, I had to sit in the front row to see the chalkboard. Time for a visit to the eye doctor.

Sporting my new pink plastic-rimmed glasses, I was amazed that you could see individual leaves on trees. I'd thought, for as long as I could remember, that trees were more like green blobs.

Here's to hoping another ocular miracle happens on Thursday.

Today is my last day to wear contacts. Tomorrow starts several days of glasses only until Thursday when the doc does his magic. It's almost an identity crises to think I will soon shed contacts and glasses. They've been part of my daily routine for decades.

I pray the Valium kicks in quick so I'm not all jitters during the surgery. (I'll be awake!)
I pray my eyes heal well.
I pray Anna doesn't freak out too much--thanks to the very stylish plastic goggles I'll be wearing for a few days and thanks to not being able to pick her up/bathe her for an entire week.
I pray the surgery is a success with nothing further needed, especially that follow-up surgery possibility.

Yep, surgery is on the horizon. And here's to hoping it's not blurry.

Mark Your Calendars: May 19

Besides being my fantastically charming nephew's birthday, May 19 also marks the day my latest book, Legendary Locals of Fort Worth, hits the shelves! WHOO-HOO!

While I am literally--and embarrassingly so--just now digging out from all the work and hoopla the book prep brought, I am now really excited to see the final product. Galleys and edits are sure to be in my future, but the launch date gives a sense of . . . the end of the tunnel (hopefully with hallelujah lights and not a train).

The project was/is so interesting. I've learned so much more about the great and varied city of Fort Worth. From the first African-American nurse to the likes of a pioneering choreographer to golfers with gusto to the rowdy and religious, Legendary Locals of Fort Worth presents numerous photos and bios about the lives that shaped the grit and grace of Cowtown. Intriguing, right?

Amazon already allows for pre-orders. So pre-order away: http://www.amazon.com/Legendary-Locals-Worth-Emily-Youree/dp/1467101346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391206690&sr=8-1&keywords=Legendary+Locals+of+Fort+Worth

Stay tuned to the blog. I will update as news develops, especially regarding launch parties and signings!

Four months and counting . . . .