Parenting Means Answering the Hard Questions

My blog posting took a vacation for a few weeks this summer to celebrate family visits, vacations, my father-in-law's retirement (after 41 years, y'all), and an unseasonably cool summer here in Texas (only THREE days in the 100s for July. Ah-mazing).

During these days, little Anna Zane's question quota has risen . . . immensely, sometimes "to infinity and beyond." I field a lot of "why," "what's that," and "do you see me/can you find me." But she's also stopped me in my tracks a time or two. Sometimes I immediately knew the answer. Sometimes I didn't.

For example, as we were about to visit the store, she asked, "Will you ever leave me behind?" The quick response was "no, not a chance, never, no way." But my heart fretted wondering why she asked that. Of course, this very interesting and insightful article recently published in the Huffington Post only added fuel to my adoption-related worries.

Anna also discovered a bit about death thanks to a large cemetery in Galveston. She was first mortified to learn--or so she thought--that people turned into stones when they died (a la the tombstones filling the  cemetery). And then was truly upset when she realized people die. People like her mama and daddy. People like her. I had to tell her not to worry and she wouldn't die for a long, long time just to get her to move on. I cannot have my 3-year-old pondering her death every day.

And then Tuesday she asked if God was in her heart. She informed me she wanted God to live in her heart. That was followed by:
Is He there?
Do you see Him?
Does He talk? Will my heart talk?
Where is God?
Where is my heart?

If anyone would like to give me suggestions on how to answer those, I'm happy to receive them! I just kept saying, "yes."

On Friday, Anna saw a photo on a desk at this office we were visiting. It was of a grandfather, grandmother, and their grandchildren. All where white except this one little black girl around 2-years-old. Anna pointed to the young girl and asked if that was her. To us, that is a really big recognition because she now sees the differences between us and recognizes herself to be unique in the family. We are prayerfully always considering how to guide her through understanding adoption and the joy she brings to our family.

Whew, this parenting gig is no joke.

If You're Visiting Fort Worth . . .

In just a handful of weeks, many FWB friends will visit Fort Worth for a week-long conference. So like a good pal and helpful tour guide, please allow me to share a few tips.

1. It's hot. This should not be a news flash. It's Texas. It's July. It's hot. You know that cute layering tank or shirt you love? Yeah, don't bring it. One shirt is all you need. Extra layers just means extra sweat. Don't bring jeans. Don't bring heavy knits. Single-layered cotton is your friend. TRUST me.
2. Don't say Dallas when you mean Fort Worth or vice versa. These cities may be neighbors, but they are different as night and day. Locals take great offense to confusing the two. 
3. If you're hoping for sweet tea, you better bring your own. This is Texas, not to be mistaken for the South.
4. Cowtown and Fort Worth are synonymous. 
5. Parking is free downtown in the evenings (after 5, I think) and on the weekends. Score.

Since the majority of folks will stay near the convention center, you'll be delighted to know the number of restaurants--and yummy restaurants--are many. And did I mention walking distance from the convention center? Oh yes . . . .

• Craving Mexican? Make a dash to Mi Cocina (you must, and I mean MUST order the guacamole as an appetizer).
• Texas BBQ: Riscky's is your No. 1 stop. Melt in your mouth, nearly die it's so good. Sigh.
• Looking for super pizza and pasta? Try Taverna on Throckmorton. My favorite Italian place in the city.
• If you want a taste of Fort Worth fine dining, be sure to make reservations for Reata. It's a Cowtown icon--and for good reason.
• To feast on steak, Del Frisco is the place to go. However, be prepared for the $$$ price tag.
• Hello sushi! Piranha's is delectable.
• And eat at the Little Red Wasp. It's all the rage. It's new. It's trendy. It's tasty.
• With ALL the fantastic restaurants (this is merely a sampling) nearby, please don't eat at the Corner Bakery. It's like choosing to eat only bread and water at Thanksgiving. :-)

If you're game for venturing out of the convention center area, check out some of my favorite restaurants:

• Fuzzy's Tacos (holy queso)
• Ellerbe Fine Foods
• Nonna Tata (it doesn't have a website; so you know it's good)
• Paris Coffee Shop (breakfast! breakfast! breakfast!)
• Cafe Brazil
• Flying Fish
• Red, Hot, and Blue
• Lonesome Dove
• Salsa Limon
• Terra (best Mediterranean food I've eaten outside the Mediterranean)

I like food. Can you tell?

For activities and fun, our family enjoys these:

• Fort Worth Zoo. Top notch. Our zoo is something like one of the top five zoos in the country. And don't think "no way" because you're worried about the heat. The zoo is a perfect mix of indoor and outdoor exhibits and is always well shaded. I could go on and on. It's really THAT great.
• Since you'll be downtown, check out the Sundance Square, especially if you have littles. Those kiddos will ADORE the fountain splash pad. Do note, however, that play is only allowed during certain times of the day and only street clothes are allowed (no swim diapers or bathing suits).
• The Fort Worth Water Gardens are also a sight for hot and tired eyes. You cannot get in the fountains but it's a fun, neat place to visit.
• Take the curious kids to the Museum of Science and History. Newly renovated, our children's museum offers interactive, interesting exhibits ANY toddler to teen would enjoy. It's, well, amazing.
• For lovers of art and beauty, I'm proud to tell you we're just not cowboys in Cowtown. Our moniker is the "City of Cowboys and Culture." The Amon Carter Museum, Kimbell Museum, and Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth are unbelievable. Honest. My husband and I like to visit art museums when we travel. Many cities' finest now pale in comparison to the gems we have right here at home. Go. You'll thank me.
• Parks and playground galore in this city! Our favorites are the Trinity River playground and Tillery Park. 
• Looking for a great water park? PLEASE DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY AT HURRICANE HARBOR! The price is ridiculous. The crowds are out of control. Theft is a huge problem. It's sooooo spread out. If you're looking for a great, family-friendly water park with something for everyone, NRH2O is THE place for you. Clean. Safe. Affordable. Families everywhere. Fun. 
• Even if you hate the Rangers or have never heard of baseball (it's possible . . . maybe), snatch up some tickets to a Texas Rangers game. The games are incredibly fun. The food is really tasty, especially the fare in the food court behind the outfield. And did I mention the playground? So fun! 
• And what's a trip to Cowtown without visiting the Stockyards? Check out the website for store info, restaurants, and cattle drive times (yes, you read that correctly. live cattle drives happening here). Want more history even the kids can enjoy? Try the Van Zandt Cottage or the Log Cabin Village.
• Bet you didn't know that Fort Worth is home to a mint? Yes, the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing produces bills in Fort Worth, which happens to be the only city other than D.C. where bills are minted. Free tour. Free museum. Stacks of money. Need I say more?

Here's to your Fort Worth visit. I truly, truly hope your stay is filled with good memories and a few laughs. Yeehaw, y'all!

 

LASIK: Second Time's a Charm

While I may have felt faint when the doctor drew on my eyeball with a marker and I tried to pretend I didn't know when he was loosening my corneal flap, my second LASIK surgery went spectacular.

Cue "Hallelujah Chorus."

Since Valium made me anything but calm during the first surgery, I went in cold turkey, no meds this go around. AND IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER. The surgery itself was quicker and less involved. Yay.

For the first four hours or so, I had more severe pain than the previous procedure; but by evening, my eye was feeling much improved. Draining was much less; the blurriness nearly gone; and my vision . . . like a miracle. Overall, the recovery lasted a nanosecond compared to the first surgery. Can you tell I am relieved?

(Am I brave or crazy or what for putting this pic out there?)

The next morning at my appointment, I actually read 20/15. Me? Blind-as-a-bat-since-third-grade Emily read 20/15. Unbelievable.

So now I am just living it up with three different eye drops four times a day. No water in my face. No scuba diving (as if) for two weeks. No mascara (run and hide) until tomorrow. And no rubbing my eye for one month (tricky).

Thanks for your prayers, encouraging wishes, and offers for help. After this Thursday's appointment, I can finally yell from the rooftop, that my eye saga is over.

A Mother's Rest: Is It Ever a Reality?

On Sunday, I sat in the pew to hear our church's youth pastor present the sermon to the congregation. The topic covered? Rest. Relaxation. God's view of it, even God's commandment for it. The pastor used Genesis 2 as his sermon text and built an excellent case for the necessity of rest for practical reasons, the ways rest show a trust in and dependence on God, and the counter-cultural aspects of a persons pursuing rest.

He talked too about how often we are forced to rest: sleep at night (our bodies eventually give out), sickness, changes to schedules (such as bad weather that interrupts plans). The ice storm of December 2013 was given as an example. For four days, Fort Worth was essentially shut down. He beautifully described how those four days forced him to step away from work, to nap, to enjoy food and friends. It sounded wonderful.

But I chuckled.

I actually had to keep myself in check. I nearly laughed out loud . . . at the wrong moment.

The ice storm of 2013 bringing chances for rest, naps and such?

Clearly this man does not have children.

Wait! I am NOT saying children are a burden or a negative. That's not what I mean AT ALL. But I am saying, from a mother's perspective, the ice storm was likely not a chance for rest. Consider this: Kids are out of school or other regularly planned activities, meaning more meals to cook (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner), meaning more dishes to wash. Who organizes and prepares the crafts? Digs outs the movies? Referees the arguments? Kids want to play outside in said ice, even though it is ice and cannot be formed into balls or people or angels. This requires a special set of clothes. And who dresses everyone? Plays outside with the kids? Undresses everyone? Cleans up the icy mess? Provides dry, warm clothes and cozy blankets. Who makes the hot chocolate? And cleans laundry and cups? (Why does this feel like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. . . ) For four days in the relaxing ice storm. You get the point.

As the good pastor pointed out, rest is not easy; it's difficult to come by. We buy into the notion that more is more. That checking off the to-do list makes us something, proves something. We trick ourselves into believing constant motion will satisfy our need for approval, success, acceptance. The doing and going secures our future, means we are in control--or so we think. And mothers absolutely fall into these categories and more; I know I do.

But for the most part, mothers cannot rest. We are, in fact, working not only to keep other humans alive, but also to nurture and encourage and inspire and instruct. Even if I'm ill or we're stuck inside due to inclement weather, mothering doesn't stop. Questions to answer. Cries to soothe. Meals to prepare. Games to play. Discipline to enact.

So what am I to do with Sunday's sermon?

1. While the option for naps is not as often as I'd like, I will take one when I can. :-) I will be intentional about pursuing rest in the small ways my life allows. I will remember that God is sovereign. True meaning in all my work is found in Him.

2. I acknowledge that this season of life, mothering little ones, is not a season offering many opportunities for rest. And that's okay. I can trust God to give what I need when I need it. I can trust God to use the struggles and weariness for His glory.

Launch Day! Legendary Locals of Fort Worth

In the fall of 2010, I received an email about Arcadia Publishing's new book series, Legendary Locals. The email also informed me the publisher was looking for someone to write the Fort Worth edition. After a little thought, I inquired. Weeks later I was asked to complete the proposal application.

And then it was summer 2011. I had a new baby. Arcadia wanted me to take on the Legendary Locals of Fort Worth project . . . but not yet. The book was tabled for now. Honestly, I exhaled a long sigh of relief. Remember, I had a new baby. That's no time for writing books.

And then it was summer 2012. Arcadia wanted to know if I was still interested. After months (literally) of applications, proposals, committees, marketing inquiries, sample captions, and project parameters, Legendary Locals of Fort Worth was a go. Along the way, I also picked up a writing/researching partner, Joan Kurkowski-Gillen, who turned out to be a valuable aid and mentor. (God knew what He was doing!)

By spring 2013, Joan and I were knee deep in preliminary research; and by fall, we were neck deep in writing and photo hunting. Maybe near drowning at one point. (I think both our husbands would give that a hearty "Amen.")

But that's all a memory now.

It's May 19, which is not only my nephew's birthday, it's launch day for Legendary Locals of Fort Worth. It's here. It's for sale. It's on store shelves. It's online.

Whew.

I'd be thrilled if you visited the Facebook page I created to promote the book. I'd be even more thrilled if you hit "Like." And I'd be really thrilled if you shared it with your friends.

It was a lot of work--and a lot of fun, mostly because Fort Worth people are so interesting, so captivating. I hope in some small way, Legendary Locals of Fort Worth captures the grit and grace of a city Joan and I have come to call home.

Anna-isms #7

Back in the day (as in high school) when I worked a part-time job at a daycare, I thoroughly enjoyed teaching a 3-year-old class during the summer. I remember thinking that three was a pretty fun age. Now that I get the privilege of parenting a three-year-old cutie, I concur with my adolescent conclusion. Three just might be my favorite so far, even given the "threenager" tendencies noted by myself and other mom friends. Three is fun. Three is funny. Three is entertaining!

For example . . .

No matter what or when you ask, the answer is always the same:

Me: What time is it?
A: Four nine thirty.

Me: How much do you weigh?
A: Four nine thirty.

Me: How much does that cost?
A: Four nine thirty.

Me: How much money do you have?
A: Four nine thirty.

Me: When will Daddy get home?
A: Four nine thirty.

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After doing an excellent job as flower girl in her cousin's wedding (while sporting double ear infections, mind you), Anna ran to her Mimi during the ceremony, exclaiming, "But I still have flowers in my bucket."

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During a recent thunderstorm, as the storm was leaving our area, we heard some distant thunder. Anna looks straight at me, completely serious, "Mommy, did you toot?"

Child, child . . . .

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Swiper the Fox lives under our kitchen table. A mean witch lives in various places around the house. We must run any time she's mentioned--in delight, I might add. The "pets," a.k.a. stuffed animals routinely need to visit the doctor for a shot. Acorns are treasures and need to be accumulated en masse.

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When Anna was up from 10:30 p.m. until 1:00 a.m. with the above mentioned double ear infections, we chatted and snuggled on her bed, hoping sleep would soon come. During one conversation, she rolls on me, gets right in my face, and says, "Do you hear that howling?" There was no howling. "That's the night creatures. They're outside." Afraid she was feeling afraid or creating scary images in her mind, I pushed her further to figure out what she meant. "Mom, it's the owls. They are going hoo hoo howling. They are waking me up."

**********

Still can't get out the "f" sound so it's:

Hix (fix)
Hunny (funny)
Hound (found)
Hinger (finger)
Hong (phone)
Hip hop (flip flop)
Hee (three)
Whore (four)
Hive (five)

Also, Dis-a-na-wee-land (Disneyland)

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This happens during nap time at least twice a week.

Notice the concert ends with a bow, a "yay Anna," and some humble "tank you, tank you's."

The Latest Development in the Eye Saga

It's been ages since I blogged here. Forgive me, please. In the next days, I'll catch you up reaaaaalll soon. Promise.

But in the meantime, here's my obligatory update on the whole LASIK debacle. A visit with the ol' doc on Friday revealed my eyes are now stable and ready for round two of surgery. And I'm even MORE excited to report I only need surgery in my left eye! Woot. Woot.

Apparently since my vision was so poor (-6.75), the swelling and trauma was a bit more severe than with other LASIK patients. Thus, why I was sooo blurry for several weeks. My right eye has now stabled out at nearly 20/20, which only happened about three weeks ago. My left eye is now at -0.75 and is sporting astigmatism. So those two issues will be corrected during the next surgery on May 29.

My doc assures me that this surgery will be less . . . less painful, less stressful, and less time under the laser. Let's hope he's right.